It is with the greatest pleasure and delight that I introduce you to my second baby boy, Lior Shai. Lior means My Light, and Shai means My gift. I felt these names were very akin to his energy, which is full of light and sparkles.
I wanted to share his arrival with you because the lessons contained within it will shape and redefine my future forever. It is my intention that you also gain some insight into how to rebirth an aspect of your own life in some way, with power and clarity.
Lior was due to arrive on August 10th 2016. I had a natural birth with my first baby boy, Aytan and I wanted another natural birth this time too. I was blessed with an amazing Doula with Aytan and I was excited about having her with me again for baby number 2. Charlotte, my doula was trained in energy work, had taken my workshops and is highly experienced. We connected instantly and I knew I wanted her with me. When she told me in May that she was going to be unexpectedly away in August I was taken back and disappointed. I would have taken this news much more deeply if I didn’t know that when something like this happens it is because the Universe has a higher plan and knows better than I do, what is best for me. Perhaps for this second birth experience I needed something else, a new energy for a new chapter. So I decided to let go and let Gd. I became excited about the new Doula I would find even though I had no idea where I would find her. I said my prayer and set my intention. Charlotte had literally been sent to me and virtually fallen out the sky so I wondered how the Universe would deliver my new Doula.
I waited for a couple of weeks and there was no sign of a doula appearing. Charlotte recommend a girl to me who I met and I thought she was lovely. I asked her if she would be willing to apply energy work to me through the birth and she said no, that she preferred a hands off approach. As much as I liked her, I didnt go ahead with her because I knew that I wanted some healing assistance during labour.
A few nights later when I was discussing names with my husband Simon, we were just about to fall asleep when he asked me “what do you think of the name Liliana.” I asked him why and he said that he had just heard the name Liliana clearly in his head and he didnt know why. His Grandmother’s name was Lily so we thought perhaps there was a connection there. I said I liked the name and would think about it.
A few days after that I was on a natural parenting online group and I did a search for recommended Doula names. This was a last resort as I had wanted the doula to come to me like last time.
I scanned the list and suddenly saw the name Liliana Lammers. I knew straight away that the name Simon had heard was hers. Without doing any research about her experience I contacted her and spoke to her that day. We connected instantly on the phone and I realised straight away that I had hit the jackpot, and that for this new baby, this was the doula for me. One thing that puzzled me during our initial phone chat was that she too was a fan of the hands off approach. I had walked away from another doula for having this same approach, yet I found myself going ahead and arranging to meet Liliana. She said to me “what makes you think that you will even need any energy work or healing during your birth?”. This made me rethink about her question and I realised I was about to jump up a level in my own spiritual evolution.
I emailed Charlotte straight away and asked if she had heard of her. She replied with “are you kidding me, you wont get anyone more experienced in the UK. Liliana is an institution!” I respect Charlotte’s opinion massively and this was all I needed to hear.
I googled her name and it became very clear to me why I was sent to Liliana. It turned out that Liliana, who was born in Argentina, is known globally for having delivered hundreds of babies and being the right hand person of Dr Michel Odent, the world famous obstetrician, who has written 14 books on natural birth. Dr Odent introduced concepts here like home births, birthing rooms, birthing pools and singing sessions for pregnant women. Liliana has decades of experience and has attended a large amount of births with Dr Odent. She has doulas fly in from all over the world to attend their courses and she is one of the most inspiring women I have ever met.
When we met with Liliana she asked me where I was going to give birth. I told her I was registered at UCH in London, however I was moving house in a month and it would be a 40 minute car journey to the hospital. She told me that this was a long time and that I should strongly consider a home birth. I had done a lot of reading about the benefits of home births and I decided to book a home birth with the smaller local hospital which was 10 minutes from my new home, just incase I wanted one.
I continued my appointments with UCH and had both options open.
When my due date arrived I received the usual messages of “well? Any movement?” I laughed them off knowing that a soul arrives at the precise moment they are meant to, which is generally not at the predicted date.
After a few days I began to receive pressure from the local hospital. They wanted to begin talking about inducing me into labour and they advised that I begin going for long walks and being more active to encourage movement. I called Liliana and discussed this with her. She said “No no no!” I asked her why. This was a shock to me because every single other person I have ever discussed birth with, is a fan of the Active Birth movement and recommends being active and physical.
She told me “If you want to walk, if you feel like walking then do it. If you want to rest then rest. If you feel like cooking then cook. Be natural, be you. Do what you feel like doing. Plenty of women exhaust themselves before labour begins by doing what they think they should be doing which is move. Trust your body and trust how you feel. The only thing that matters is that you relax and if relaxing for you is watching TV then do that. Just do what you WANT to do.”
That’s easy I thought. I am very well versed in relaxing! I teach people how to relax. I will go and put my feet up and do what I love most and meditate.
So I meditated for another week. During that week I received immense pressure from the local hospital who wanted to induce me asap. I went for a couple of acupuncture sessions and there was still no movement. A friend of mine who is a doula came and helped me to do some specific yoga and there was still no movement. My dear friend Kim who teaches doulas QT in Hawaii and is a cranial sacral osteopath sent some healing to me and the baby and yet there was still no advancement towards the birth, although I felt incredibly uplifted by it. 14 days after my due date there was still no sign of the baby. At this point even UCH who had been very supportive of waiting for a natural arrival were telling me that induction (which I really wanted to avoid for many reasons), was looking highly likely if the baby didnt arrive within 48 hours at the most.
This was incredibly pressurising. I felt very relaxed physically yet there was a strong pressure I had never encountered before from the medical establishment about getting the baby out on time. Yet again I called Liliana. She assured me that in France full term labour is 42 weeks and that the minute I relax the baby will descend. I told her I am relaxed! She said that she could feel that my mind is incredibly strong and that it is in the way. The only reason I could think of that I would feel tension in my mind was the pressure from the hospital so I released the energy of that. My mentor in Malaysia, Master Kaye Lee helped me to do so and I felt the pressure melt away.
Even though I had felt the pressure from the medics, there was a part of me that knew everything would go to plan. There was a lesson to be learned here…
On day 15 I booked an acupuncture appointment with a women who I was told was an expert in helping people get into labour. Anna Maria was amazing and helped the energy descend more fully into my body. As soon as I left the appointment my labour started and began to gradually speed up. At 3pm I called Liliana and she said she would come over. When she arrived she told me to rest and that she would be downstairs. We were all set for a home birth and had a relaxed attitude about everything.
By 10pm my contractions had become more frequent and I felt that we were moving forward. Liliana felt differently. She felt that my mind was still in the way and that I still needed to “relax and let go”. I felt I was managing the pain well using my healing techniques and she felt that things could be moving a lot faster and that we had to find out what was holding me back.
At 11pm Liliana started probing to see what would get my mind to move. She said to me “Karina would you like to go to hospital?”
As soon as she said that I had a shift. Instantly I said I would like to go, however I didnt want to go to the local hospital as I didnt have much faith in them and that I wanted to go to UCH. The moment I said this out loud things started to flow. We left our house at 11.30pm and the moment we got into the car my contractions were fast and powerful. Liliana instructed Simon to let me stay in my own zone and that I knew what I was doing and was in a good space. We arrived at the hospital at 12.15am. The moment I walked into the building which I had subconsciously wanted to birth at from the start everything happened at record speed. I “checked in” and the midwives wanted to assess me. Liliana told them there was no time for all that because she knew my mind had let go the moment I entered the hospital and she knew how much the body follows the mind. The midwife didnt believe her…As I was so late they didnt want to admit me into the Birth Centre which is more holistic. It didnt really make any difference because my head and my heart had totally aligned, in real time. We stepped into the delivery room and within a few minutes Lior was born at 00.58am, 43 minutes after getting out of the car.
When our head and heart align and we are totally honest with ourselves about what we really want, the things we want happen instantly.
That’s the key – knowing what we really do want. On paper I had wanted a home birth because it is the more holistic way to birth. In my heart I wanted to birth in a particular hospital that I have a lot of respect for and the same place Aytan was born. My body was held back by my mind, which was protecting my heart and my instinct, which knew the right thing for me. Lior was so late arriving and yet the moment I brought my true desire into my conscious mind, he arrived in record speed.
To be a clear vessel to receive our heartfelt prayers we must always have a conversation with the Universe that comes directly from our heart. If there is a delay it is because the head and heart are giving out two different messages. We only open to the Divine…when they align…
Liliana was right. When we are aligned there is no need for any hands on assistance. Her presence with me was gentle and quiet. She almost made herself invisible, because her faith in a birthing Mother is so high that the Mother resonates to this energy.
Lior Shai’s birth has taught me one of the biggest lessons of my life so far. If something is taking a long time then it is time to ask “is this what I really do want? Or is this what I think I should want?”
How do we know we really do want what we are asking for? If you have a release or feel relief when you think about it…then it is the right intention for you.
Once we really do want what we are asking for and align to it, the Universe will deliver it to us…instantly!